My First Drink

© tammi hartley

I had no idea where I was, but the blackness of night had crept in. The thick, fragrant air was filled with a heavy dampness and my feet sank into the spongy mud as I ran, making getting anywhere fast rather difficult. I saw streams of silvery moonlight breaking through the treetops. Okay, I realized I was in the woods. But, I still wasn’t sure how I got there. I wasn’t sure why I was running. I was scared. So scared. My racing heart was pushing the fear through my veins and this unknown fear is what kept me moving forward. The growing sense of evil in the pit of my stomach, I could not shake. It was beleaguering me. Something was chasing me and was definitely gaining on me. The hard lump in my throat made it difficult to breathe. The heaviness of this evil jumped on my back, and it forced me to the forest floor. My knees sank into the cold, soft mud. I fell on my belly and made an attempt at an army crawl. It had a hold of me and I could not get anywhere. I flipped over on my back and tried to kick it off.

As I looked up, I saw him standing over me — a broad-shouldered man in the darkness. His eyes were green, like a cat’s and flickered like candlelight. They expressed the years of pain he had been through in his life, while the skin on his face had shown no such sign. He had young skin — beautiful skin. Oddly perfect skin. Completely white, it gave off a glow in the light of the bright full moon. He reached out and I could not help but allow his long, branch-like fingers to caress my trembling face. After a few light strokes, his fingers wrapped themselves around the back of my head and had interwoven themselves in my hair. He pulled me to his chest — refusing him was not an option. His chest was stone, yet terribly comfortable and safe. His embrace made me invincible, except I had no will or want to fight him. I fell into his body and closed my eyes…

When I awoke I felt groggy, ill, drugged. It took some effort, but I slowly sat up. My surroundings were blurry at first, but I soon began to take in the cold, gray stone walls around me. Old walls made of chipped and worn stone bricks. Jagged cracks were shooting through them like lightning bolts and thick cobwebs hung in the corners like a vignette on a photograph. It was a suffocatingly small room and I was in the center enveloped by dancing candlelight that cast spooky shadows on the walls of horrible images that were not there. Straight ahead was a narrow arched doorway. No door that I could see, but it looked like a worn stone staircase was beyond the arch. It was dark past the doorway, but the staircase was illuminated by a silvery blue light.

Oh my god, I have been kidnapped! This thought entered my head, and the familiar sting of fear sunk in. I was too tired to get up and too tired to move. I felt weak. I was also craving something that I could not pinpoint. I laid my head back down onto my bed. My very small bed. My very constricting bed with very tight walls. I sat up. It became real to me that I was laying in a coffin. I screamed — but nothing came out. I was too weak. I wanted to run, but I was too weak. I wanted to cry, but I was too weak. I laid my head back down.

My head falls onto the red satin pillow and it was as if I had just laid my head on my own little personal cloud. Although the coffin is small and tight, it is surprisingly comfortable. It radiated a feeling of safety there. The candlelight pranced around like little ballerinas on stage and gave an overall romantic feel to the small room — the small room of cold, gray stone, with the cracks in the wall . This room that housed a stench of decay. This room with no door, but a staircase that was illuminated by the familiar light of the moon. The thoughts slowly formed in my head that my room, my little sanctuary that my kidnapper had created for me, was actually a cold, dark crypt. I start to get scared again, but I couldn’t think anymore, I was too tired. I closed my eyes, holding onto the small hope that this might somehow turn out in my favor.

The next time I wake up I feel a little stronger. The candles were still lit and I was still in my crypt. The strange craving was stronger and I was sure it is for something completely unfamiliar to me. I jumped to a noise that came from behind me. I turned to look and I saw him. The same man from the woods. He appeared very soft in the light cast by the candles. He smiled lovingly at me and slowly approached. His presence overtook me and again, I could not refuse him. As before, he reached his long fingers out to caress my face. My fear of him and the situation began to fade into the background. Again his fingers wrapped around my head, but this time he pulled my head back and lifted me off the pillow. He began to kiss my exposed neck. Light kisses brushed up and down the bare flesh leading down to my shoulder. He used his lips and tongue to tease me into the weak position of arousal. When my feelings for him turned into from wanting to aching, his grip became strong. He pulled me to him and I wrapped my fingers into his black hair and then my arms around his head. Then, suddenly there was a sharp pain that shot through my body. Unbelievable pain — in my neck. It felt as though I had been stabbed. The throbbing of my wound brought tears to my eyes and then it all became clear.

The room began to spin and I closed my eyes. The world had faded away. Him and I were the only two beings that existed. I heard faint drumming. I didn’t know where this was coming from. Still trapped in the embrace of his bite, I felt my energy leave me through his kiss. The pain had left me at this point as was the person I was before. This became a glorious moment when he and I had become one. I wanted to completely give myself to him in any way he desired. I would have died for him at that moment. Whatever it was he needed of me, I would surrender. The sound of my heartbeat was like a native drum and the rhythm was slowing down and becoming steady. Hypnotic. I listened to the drum of my heartbeat and fell down into its spiral.

This was the first time that Death had became known to me. Beautiful death, a black being, tall and graceful. Her robes of the night sky flowed wildly in the breeze. Her hair blew in the wind and looked like black flames reaching toward the sky. Her wings slowly emerged from behind her like ghosts of black mists — towering over the trees. Her slender body twisted and contorted most seductively as she danced to the drumbeat. Her beckoning black eyes were inescapable and her long arms called to me — to hold me. She was not scary. She was everything. She was eternal. She beckoned to me. And I wanted her. The more he took from me, the closer the welcoming embrace of Death became. And I knew that I would never want anything more. This strange craving was still there and was becoming maddening!

He retracted his bite and she disappeared. He kissed the wound with sympathy and reached for his handkerchief. He used it to blot my wound. He looked at me with a love and desire that I have never known. He wanted me. I wasn’t sure why, but his eyes told me that he had great plans for me. As his eyes glowed and showered me with affection, he placed his wrist over my mouth and pressed. His skin was cold against my lips but I could feel the heat of the blood coursing through his veins, just beneath. And I knew, at that point, what the new craving was. I bit into his wrist with pleasure and more ease than I expected. The moment his blood dropped onto my tongue was completely orgasmic. Never had I been so lost in a fit of ecstasy and desire as I was in this moment — my first drink. I began to actually suck and swallow his blood. I heard two heartbeats now and they were beating together in time and created a song that was only meant for me to hear. The pleasure was reaching a peak – a climax of pure joy, and then he stole his wrist away quickly. Leaving me wanting and begging him for more. He tells me that I have had enough. And we should be careful, too much would make me sick. My desire for him, for his blood, his energy, his soul was still high. I had be satisfied, but there was no climax. It was like being filled with intense passion — burning passion, and not being able to orgasm. I was going absolutely mad! I was begging him for relief. Just one more drink, that was all I wanted. The relief never came. Then the desire and the passion was replaced with something else.

My stomach went into violent spasms and I fell down at his feet. He picks me up and takes me outside — up the staircase. It is night-time and the moon shone bright. He dropped to his knees, still holding me and he explained to me what was about to happen. And as he held me close to him, I felt weak again and I closed my eyes. His voice faded into the background. She became clear in my vision. She, with her dark robes and shining black jewels. She was smiling and she held out her hand. I reached for her, I wanted her to take me…

I am pulled back to outside the crypt. Oh the pain. I rolled out of his arms and began to vomit. I didn’t even notice that rain had began to fall. My stomach purged its contents and my organs shut down. It was not a pretty death, although I have come to learn that there really is no such thing. I collapsed on the ground and again closed my eyes. My beautiful Death, my new love, my new goddess, had come back for me. This time she came to me as I laid on the forest floor. I looked up at her and she knelt down close to me. Her black arms reached out and wrapped themselves around me. Locked in our embrace, I was hers. She rocked me back and forth and told me everything would be okay. Kissing my forehead, she let me go and welcomed me to the underworld. Death had taken me and I was filled with the excitement of what my new life would entail. I was now immortal. I was timeless. I was everlasting and powerful.

I wake up back in the crypt — back in my coffin, back in my sanctuary. He is with me. My kidnapper — my new lover, my new partner. He looks at me and I understand. Holding hands, we walk out of the crypt into the moonlight. The night is alive with the magic of life. I looked up at the stars hanging in the sky and I saw them for the first time. The little diamonds shone like brilliant lights, they were so beautiful. The sky was full of them and I couldn’t believe I had never seen them in such a simple and beautiful way before. Rather than blowing in the breeze, the trees were swaying and bending to the music of the forest. The smell of the decay in the cemetery was rather pleasant and comforting. A familiar craving is rumbling inside me. He looked at me with an unmistakable look. He is hungry… and so am I.


One response to “My First Drink

  • TheresaG

    Wow Tammi…it’s hard to express how I much I enjoyed reading this. You truly are quite talented. I want to read more. 😉

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